I got to spend a significant amount of one-on-one time with two of our female residents last week. Both visits were those sort of "slap in the face" kind. You know, the ones that make you realize how little the issues in your life are compared to the grand scheme of things? Yeah, I have those moments a lot here.
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The first resident was essentially reliving the death of her son. We'll call her Jane. Because of Jane's dementia, she was caught up in a moment of belief that he had just passed away a few days ago, when in reality it has been many years since his death. She told me, "You know, this week started out really rough when I found out about Ron, but it's turning out to be okay. I just keep praying." From a picture she showed me, I'm guessing he was in his 40s when he passed away. She mentioned that it was from some sort of disease, but she didn't go into specifics. Eventually, she asked me to put his picture back in the drawer and said, "We better stop talking about it," but she kept mentioning how prayer was what kept her going.
She continued to tell me how she prays for all of her children, because that is the best thing a mother can do for them. Her children are obviously very dear to her (you can tell from the way she talks about them), so I can't imagine how strong of a woman she must be to have gone through the loss her son. She told me about how she always wanted children so badly but had trouble getting pregnant at first, so (you guessed it!) she prayed about it. She ended up with four kids, one of them adopted. She is still praying every day to thank God for them.
Any time I mention a concern or desire to Jane, she tells me to pray about it. As she puts it, "God answers prayers. It's not always 1, 2, 3, done - but He always answers." I learned two things from Jane that day:
1. Pray about everything that is dear to your heart, both in joy and in sorrow.
2. How to clip a flower in my hair. It's nice knowing people who used to be beauticians!
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We'll call the second resident Georgina. Georgina is one of those people that just oozes friendliness and faith. You know, the kind you see at church camp every year who is genuinely thrilled to see each person as if it has been years since the last visit, even though it only may have been last week?
I already knew Georgina was especially fond of singing church hymns. She must know every single word in the entire hymnal. So when her condition started to decline, I went in to sit at her bedside one night and sing a couple songs with her. She barely had a voice left, but the minute I named a song she started singing it. I wish I could somehow explain how the smile on her face looked as we sang. It grew even bigger as I read her some Psalms. She asked me to read them more than once and to mark them down for her so she could read them again later (even though I knew that she would be incapable of reading them herself).
When I say her "condition started to decline," I should probably elaborate a little bit to show just how remarkable Georgina's smile in this moment really was. She is a tiny woman to begin with, and she is now in the stage where meal time means being spoon-fed some sort of apricot/honey mixture - one of the most vulnerable points we can come to in life (or should I say return to). She lays quietly and no longer carries on a conversation very well, becoming quickly confused. Her smile has always been infectious, but I cannot begin to explain how much more intoxicating it was coming from such a feeble, helpless body. To get to that point in life and have a faith so strong it still gives you a reason to smile? That's something.
Her favorite verse that night was Psalm 116:8 - "For You have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, and my feet from falling." When I finished reading it, she told me, "I liked that one very much."
Then we sang "What a Friend We Have in Jesus" three or four times in a row:
What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
Ev'rything to God in prayer!
Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
Oh, what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Ev'rything to God in prayer.
I think each of us should have something in our life that means as much to us as these hymns mean to Georgina. I know if I ever find myself in such a tragically deteriorated condition, I would want there to be that one thing that could still bring a smile to my face. In a time when everyone else would expect that mysterious apricot/honey mixture to suck all the joy right out of you, it'd be nice to prove them wrong. Do you have that one thing that will bring you immeasurable joy up to the very end? What's your smile-trigger?
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